~~ ` LiVe Up tHe aNGeLs' ~~

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

我病了。。


2010年1月6日的晚上,一路驾车回家的路途中我都感到不适,好像要晕的感觉。。打包了杂饭回家,也没有胃口吃。。感觉上,要生大病,要死了。。翌日的星期四,丈夫要到普吉岛去公干,我也只好在家工作,反正也没什么事好干。。结果是病得一塌不起,连起床的力量都没有。。

拜五,我拼命也爬起床去看医生,医生说是什么发炎,反正是什么,我也听不懂。。回家买了一百号和凉茶通通都喝了,就是没有好转,夜里,更烧得火烫。。拜六,我传了短讯给sis in law,要求她把我送院就医,结果验出我的烧,已是40.2度。。

我的筋本来就很小,医生用了三支针才把我的筋给找着并插入。。最后用的,是十号童针。。针孔把我的手筋给插得很痛,伤痕累累。。但,我又能做什么呢?

我,入院了。。那是拜六。

我进了814A的病床,只有我一个人。邻床没人。陪伴我的,就只有电视机及sis in law.后来她回家了,就只剩我一个人。。我还是很不舒服,但之前屁股塞了药,所以我的烧开时退了。退到37度以下。可是,好景不长,我的烧,又慢慢的开始侵袭我。。半夜,我慢慢的开始发高烧,烧到39.5度,一支高居不下。我没胃口,手脚冷得发抖。听说,发太高烧的病人,是会发冷的。

我的39.5度,一直维持了两天,护士们都来过N此,她们都很惊讶我的高烧高居不下。。我,也慌了。深怕就那么因为肺部发炎而死在医院里。。我不甘心!

在医院的日子里,丈夫终于于星期日回到家了,他在夜里来看我了,说实在的,他真的是世界上最好的丈夫。顾家又爱儿女。他用冷水帮我把身子檫了又檫,协助我把体温给降下。。我房里的冷气十二十度,头上放了一块湿毛巾,身上放了一个冰包包,还得不断地用冷水抹身子来降温。。也还要用冷水来洗澡。。我的体温,终于在两天后,从39.5,开始降到38度左右了。。

来看我的医生,他叫Dr Kuan.第一次看到他,还真被他吓倒。样子看起来,太像老师了,那么的年轻,那么的斯文,真的有那么一刹那给他的帅气给煞到了。也许很多人都说水瓶座的人爱很泛滥。。其实,那只是博爱,我就是这么的认为。

从不知什么时候开始,由期待他给我巡房看病,演变成很期待他的出现,起码那是我心情开朗的少许时刻。。从没看过一个医生,可以是那么的礼貌。。他看到我在讲电话时,还会主动身退到病房外,听起来,是很可笑的。不是吗?什么时候开始,医生是那么的羞涩啦?他们可是横行霸道的,不是吗?

在医院待的七天里,除了首三天我是完全没胃口外,接下来的日子都可以进食。。没胃口的意思,是说,我每餐都只吃两三口饭,只因不想吃药时会有胃痛。每每能吃完的,就只有那么的一杯热milo。。

吃药吃怕了。。都是退烧药,antibiotic, 防呕药及什么维生素。。我真的吃到连胃都反。。

星期五早上,我出院了。。Dr Kuan 很快的就把我的单给算好了。 这也意味着,我很快就要出院,不能再看到他了。当然,在这种情况下看到他,到底也不是太吉利的事。护士替我把手上的针给拔掉。吊了七天的盐水,是事后该拔掉了。心里有一种很期待去见他的感觉,就在他一楼的诊所里..说过了,我没有越馗,只是很博爱。到底是文学感染了我,还是我本来就是悲观的, 就是不明白。。

进了他的诊所,坐得面对面,看得更清楚了,他的白发,显示了他的不年轻。。陪伴我的,还有我的丈夫,他告诉我,医生的桌子上放了一张照片,里头有这四个小孩子,我想,应该是他的孩子吧。。不知道为什么,心里就是有一种放不下的感觉,当然不是我爱上了别人,只是,有一种难以形容的彻痛。。

我的病,还是没有完全好起来,致使还在复原当中罢了。1月27日,我要去复诊了,该是什么样子的感觉呢?我也不知道了。。

Friday, August 22, 2008

Confessed? Confused

It was the day where we had Olympics opening ceremony in China, Beijing and it was 08.08.2008. 15mins to 7pm and I was in front of UM, just jammed jammed and jammed. I was listening to music via my hp and my heart was thinking, shld I send him a text msg, telling him that I have already gotten married in 2007? After some struggles, I decided to drop the text msg. But it was faith..I didnt manage to del the text msg, instead, I wrongly pressed sent.
He called me back and asked if it was true. He was buying food outside at that time and, he is now staying together with his gf..


I did pick the call though I was surprised that he will call me coz all this while he will normally text msg me. We chatted for bout 15mins and he said many many things and some what like he liked me once..that time, I havent got together with my current husband. But yet, he is having a gf and they have known each other for bout 22yrs! Loving couples..he is nice looking and smart and we have endless topics to chat about. But, he is 4 yrs younger than me and I could only like him, silently. Despite his gf, I just cant accept anyone who is younger than me, even a year..and he, is 4 yrs younger than me!

He called..and he mentioned that he liked me once. I asked few times to confirm..the feelings are just too strong fr my end and I dunno abt him coz when I asked him few times to confirm, he finally denied and said, you think it's so easy to like someone?

I was a bit sad. I told him, all a sudden, bonafidely fr the bottom of my heart that, I liked him at the time when we were close frens. He paused for a while and asked, if I liked him, why married my current husband? It was my turn, to pause.

I dunno what to say. he is 4 yrs younger than me and he has gf but there is a very speacial connection btw us..
I am confused..I dunno..I told him I have my own baby and he shld know as he is close to me..he was shocked and nvr believe me..then he recalled, it was the time when I was away for two mths and ok, I lied to him, saying that I will be away for a short term course. Am I bad?

The story..has it just begun? Was it ended? I am confused. I liked him..but what kind of feelings are those?